On The Bus to America's Future

I think terrible metaphors are a fun thing.  

So if you are an American, welcome aboard.  Please take your seat next to all the other citizens riding the bus.  Why yes little girl, the bus does have a name, it is called the "US Economy."   You'll notice we've had a bit of a problem with the bus - it was going too slowly.  So our congressional mechanics removed that pesky steering wheel and wedged it against the gas petal.  No- I've been assured absolutely nothing will go wrong.  

Now, little girl, please take a seat at the back of the bus.  The front seats are reserved for households making more than $75,000 per year in income... maybe a few thousand less if you live in a Red state or a few thousand more  if you live in a Blue state - because on average Red states don't push the bus forward as much as blue states do so we need to penalize the blue states to make it more fair for the nice Red states so maybe someday they can eventually contribute more and make the bus go faster.  What little girl, that doesn't make any sense, yes it does it called political retribution.  Why, yes, again I've been assured this is a fine and wonderful thing, and of course hobbling the blue states will make the bus go faster.

Out the back windows of the bus you may notice the bus is dragging a bunch of odd things- even a huge honey wagon filled with debt, wars and junk.  Why yes, there are demons out there aggressively shoveling on more debt, but not to worry, this is normal and I'm told that as we pick up speed they won't be able to keep filling that titanic honey wagon dragging along behind us by a length of chain.  

"Caviar, fine wine and health care is now being served"  Oh, no, not to you little girl.  We would be going so so much faster now, but 62 percent of the money we burn to make the bus move goes to the one bus driver, and without out it driver couldn't have caviar and wine.    Why you ask does the bus driver get 62% of all the money?  Tut tut.  So full of a foolish questions you ask.  To work the bus breaks of course!  And they get to decide how much everyone else pays to push the bus - and they see fit to use your pittance rather than burn their own.  Don't worry about them pushing down the breaks, they would never do that, because that would slow the bus down.  Not to worry.  Isn't all this such a clever and special way to make the bus go even faster?

What little girl, the bus didn't let you off at your stop, "The American Dream?"  Well that's because the bus is picking up speed and only a few of the people in the front of the bus were able to jump out the door as we drove by.  And certainly nobody is willing to push the break- that big honeywagon of shit will keep rolling toward us if we stop after all.  Where is the bus headed now?  Nobody really knows- to a happy prosperous short term future I think.   And beyond that forests and mountains and cliffs and oceans.  And as we drive and drive along, happy at top speed, with that big slushy unstoppable wagon bouncing behind us with no steering wheel towards a great many obstacles....  

Everything will be fine.  Just fine.  That's what they tell me. Not to worry.

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